Name:Jenni Trang Country:United States State:California Gender:Female
Interests:spoken word, ViFF, Club O' Noodles!! trying to keep my mind straight.... Expertise:nuoc mam Occupation:Artist Industry:film, performance art, asian a
When I was young, I would go to every middle school dance... and just watch people because I was scared to dance... I didn't know "how" and I was afraid of what people thought. I only went on the dance floor for 3 reasons... Kris Kross'll make ya "jump jump!", YMCA.... and slow dances.
Then I went on a cruise to Mexico with my cousin Khanh and her family and friends back in High School... and there was a dance. I looked around... realized I would NEVER see these people again... and just started shaking my hips... and it felt GOOD. and suddenly I could care less about what other people thought.
Hello, my name is Jenni Trang Le and I have major separation anxiety & an unhealthy sentimental attachment to things. *deep breath*
Needless to say, packing/moving/losing things affects me greatly and this morning I got a phone call from the 76 repair shop in Long Beach... "I have bad news... you busted your rod and your engine is a goner. Would you like me to replace it?" ... to put a used engine in would be $1200... roughly.
The logical side of me and the objective voice of everyone's reason says to sell the car for a couple hundred bucks, cut my losses... I'll be in Saigon for a year... maybe it's the universe telling me to "let go"... I've had a lot of good use out of the car.
And that's just it. I've had a LOT of good times in that car. It was my high school senior graduation gift from my mama... '95 Honda Accord. V6 engine. White. I hated the color at the time, but my daddy picked it out for me... says "this car will last you a long time..."
There was no CD player, but a tape deck and my friends would make me mix tapes- Janelli's bomb ass mixes, Thang's "freakishly fabulous & fabulously freaky" DiFranco compilations, Duc Uy's "Backstreet Boys live in concert"... and I'd be content.
That was 11 years ago. It's my baby! My longest relationship. And it has been there throughout all my relationships... I've laughed, sang, cried, crashed, and been struck by lyrical inspiration in it.
I've been in 2 major accidents (Thomas came to my rescue in #1, Daniel came to my rescue in #2) and 2 minor accidents with it. No one was hurt in any of the times, but the body took a beating. In 2005 a random Vietnamese man I met at one of my Club O' Noodles performances told me to take it to his shop. I think he was half in love with me because he fixed my car (bumper, side door, the works)... told me I could take as long as I wanted to pay him back... and basically kept my car for 4 1/2 months while I went to Viet Nam to film "The Rebel"... and we never went on a single date. Love? ... or perhaps he was just very Catholic? heh.
I've paid a zillion and one dollars in parking tickets, speeding tickets (2), and other mishaps along the way... btw, I once went into a bank and left Thai Lan in the car waiting in a blue zone... and she fell asleep and I got ticketed. What?!
I named my Accord "Lemonjello" after a funny story I heard... pronounced leMONjello... but really, it's "lemon jello". In my senior year, I went to many a car show... put a red pochacco "racing" sticker on the gas cap, a "Wild 94.9 Racing" sticker in the back windshield... and I was a super wannabe racer.... who never went over the speed limit. hahaha. I had South Park characters outlined on the glove compartment... funnily enough, "Kenny" was the first to start peeling off...
It was the car where I had my first "french" kiss (and hey man, it ended there... I was so innocent! heh). I was 18. He was 20 something, pilipino, and dangerously charming.
During my UCLA Undergrad years, I was one of the few freshmen who had a car... and mind you, I had NO parking (you Bruins can understand my pain)... and so I spent half my time finding parking, paying for parking tickets, and paying ridiculous daily rates at on campus parking lots when I was desperate. But I would always give rides to all functions for VSU, ACA, Samahang... etc etc events. I can't tell you how many times I drove to Monterey Park for late nite boba runs or chinese fast food...
It was also the "Love Mobile". I lent my car to a lot of my friends... cuz you know me, I'm a hopeless romantic... an Aquarian out to save the world... I'm about Love & Peace and if I can do a small part for a loving couple -- I'll do it! Some cupid connections... Bao & Anna - I think it was my car that Bao borrowed on his first date with Anna!! How crazy is that? They're still together by the way... going on... what, 5 or 6 years? Tutram - she would borrow my car to drive up to Northern California to visit her boyfriend at the time... Keiko & Jeff - Valentine's day dates... (I still have the winnie-the-pooh you guys gave me in return, hehehe)... Thai Lan - when her out-of-state boyfriend would come into town... Sarah Ahn & Dean - another first date success... they're married now! I'm sure I'm forgetting other couples, but just to name a few...
It was the car that I slept in when I got tired...
It was the car that I slept in when I was dating a guy in the OC and didn't have the energy to drive home...
It was the car that I drove my dad around to buy Eastern medicine (thuốc bắc), get acupuncture, see the doctor's, eat pho... during his last months in this Life... I grew up in Texas, without him... so when I came to Cali to live in his area code for high school, we didn't know how to really talk to one another. So instead of telling me he's proud of me, he'd push me into his dry cleaning store and tell all the Mexican workers, "This my daughter! She speak Spanish!" ... instead of telling me he was sorry for a fight we had, he would buy me McDonald's breakfast the next morning & we'd eat in silence... instead of telling me he loved me & cared about me, he would tune up my car, change my oil, check tire pressure, fix my busted radio antenna, fix my heater, fix my lighter charger thingy... I miss him.
And I'm going to miss my car.
And it was my own damn fault. Just too busy to take care of my Honda. It was leaking oil and I kept adding a whole bottle of oil daily, but on the last day... that fateful Saturday (IRONICALLY on Valentine's Day!!) I thought I could make it down to the OC and to the mechanic in time... but alas, there it sits, broken, alone in Long Beach while I'm in Denver. I don't even have a picture of it to post on this blog...
Maybe the lesson is to take care/notice of the things most dear to you... sometimes you get caught up in the craziness of life and you neglect the one that is always there, is always reliable, that gives without receiving...
I wanted Lemonjello to be there when I come back in a year.
And now I have a choice to make. As you get older, we get confronted with more and more choices... more and more decisions to make... adult life is poopy sometimes.
The air conditioner didn't work, the radio didn't work (from when Theary & I tried to install another radio ourselves, kekeke), the passenger door didn't open from the inside, the window got stuck when you rolled it down too much, the trunk didn't open or close, the bumper was held up with zip ties, the wipers didn't wipe properly and I was always afraid to take long trips with it, the lighter charger thingy was broken again... but it was mine. And I loved it.
... and I think it may be time to let go. *exhale*
... took this last week while being stuck in major traffic...
The shot above I stole while at the Indonesian Cafe around the corner from my apt... a couple was simultaneously holding hands and eating... he was using his left hand to eat and she was using her right hand. It was quite cute. And they were older... luckily with my new iphone I can be sneaky!!! ;)
I think this entry is about faith and love.
I was born in Houston, TX and grew up Catholic... (my mom's side is very Catholic) then when I moved to California at the age of 14 and lived with my Gramma & Auntie on my dad's side, they were very Buddhist and for the first time no one was pressuring me to attend Sunday mass.
I started studying other religions, reflecting on my own religion, and I posed the question - is there just One right "path"? It's not so much that I turned my back on God... it was more that I started questioning the institution & rigidity and instead just did my best to be good to people... to listen to world, to open my heart and mind to the God that I see in everyday life.
I've always thought of myself as a spiritual person. I believe my father has been reincarnated into a new life of love and understanding. I believe my maternal grandfather, ông ngoại, is up in heaven smiling down on the legacy he has left behind.
Maybe it's because I'm turning 29 in 3 weeks, moving to Saigon in 4 weeks, loved and lost and loved and lost again and again, trying to find strength to understand a community that both warms me and slaps me... that the urge to find divine strength has intensified.
And then just when I started thinking about Him again... I run into Brian Calimlim RANDOMLY at the Indonesian Cafe ...and what is he doing? Working on his next Bible Study lesson!! On the Book of Daniel. and THEN afterwards as I was talking to my roomie Jeff while we walked thru the alley back to our apt, I brought up the subject and right when I did, I stepped into a HUGE puddle and got my shoes & pants wet. COINCIDENCE?! haaaard to say.
My mom is engaged for the 3rd time... and while planning the wedding... she wanted a big church wedding. And for those of you familiar with the Catholic religion, divorce is a big no-no.
So a few months ago my aunt calls me to ask for my dad's death certificate. Which I found a strange request, but she explained that we needed it in order to be allowed to have a Church wedding... my mom's 2nd wedding was not in a church - only through city hall... so it "doesn't count"... never mind that the marriage lasted 15 years... and it finally ended (to my relief) when my stepdad called for it and then 6 mths later brought his new young wife from Viet Nam ... already pregnant and ready to pop.
My parents divorced when I was 3 and I do remember that fateful day... but they were always friendly after. I just had 2 homes.
I remember being very young and knowing that my mom and stepdad were not in love... and just pretending for us kids. They'd fight all the time. I was just too young to articulate it, but I felt it... and it still colors me subconsciously... When I got older, I asked my mom why she was with such a man for so long and she said she wanted to make sure us kids were provided for... to which I reminded her that I went through UCLA all on loans and grants. She changed the subject.
I feel God's presence during enormous challenges and tiny miracles in my life. I learn from Buddha's silence.
I am ready to pray... and meditate... and just breathe.
*warning, no pics cuz i don't have my new camera with me... but future posts will be loaded! woohoo. that's right, ladies n gents, jellibeanz' a-bloggin' again!*
I always tell myself that I'm not going to smoosh projects RIGHT up against each other... but then I realize that many times... you just can't help it!!
After 5 days in St. Petersburg, Florida, working on the VanSon concert.. I flew back at 7am Florida time and arrived in LA at 10am.
I was SO sleepy getting on that 7am flight that I actually FELL ASLEEP while standing in line to board the plane!!!! - NO jokes. My head actually fell forward and bumped the back of the guy in front of me!
ahahhaha... the visual you're having is just as funny as the experience (granted at the time I was more mortified than entertained). "Sorry..." I mumbled when the guy turned around, confused.
I managed to make my way onto the plane to sleep for 3 solid hours until landing in LA.
So then I spent the day PACKING and buy last minute things - tampons (they're a rarity in SE Asia), facewash, returning items I got at Office Depot, portable Hard Drive, digital camera (blue Canon 1100IS)... and also readying my room for a subletter (which I haven't found, but in CASE someone pops up while I'm gone, I wanna make sure they have room for their schtuff!)
... I felt bad because Daniel I was supposed to spend some quality time but instead he had to endure me being at half-speed (due to lack of sleep) and stressed that I forgot something.
We finally rushed our asses to his house in Whittier to drop off my car (I wanted to spare my roomies from moving my car for street cleaning every wk) and then raced back to LAX....
... only to find out that my 1:45am flight was DELAYED until 4:00am!! shieeeet. But you know what was cool? on the LAX intercom, they freakin' had an announcement about the delayed flight/changed gate number ... in VIETNAMESE - holy mother of Pho - we have arrived. I was so shocked. When did they start doing this? Soooo awesome!!!
While in line for baggage security, Daniel and I met this cool lady named Ivy who was going to Hong Kong on business... for MATTEL!!!! She's a toy designer at Mattel!!! OMG. How dopelicious is that?!?! We got separated and then Daniel and I were hanging out before I had to leave him and go thru security....
... but when I got to the gate, Ivy was no where to be seen.
... and I looked and looked... and as I was falling asleep again waiting to board the plane (this time in the chairs, less embarrassing)... I still couldn't find her. The film BIG with Tom Hanks kept replaying thru my head. I've never met a toy designer before. SO cool. I wanna talk with her. She seemed super nice...
... so here I am, in Hong Kong Airport... there are no more direct flights to Cebu, Philippines, so now I gotta be here for 4 hrs then fly to Manila, and THEN fly to Cebu - arriving around 8pm (instead of 11am originally)...
While waiting in line to get new boarding passes, I met a cool guy, Rolin, who works for a cruise ship to Alaska - been on the job for 14 months!!! He has a new baby boy, John Benedict, to come home to - only 2 months old!! So it'll be his first time meeting his 1st son...
I think Rolin started talking to me because I look Pilipino. Needless to say, I blend in very well. *wink*
Well, at least I have someone to hang out with!! Although, I caught Daniel online so we've been videochatting until I put him on hold to write this blog... Thank goodness for technology. Btw, the photo on this note is from Daniel's 2006 trip to Hong Kong. beautiful, huh? The only view I have though is a foggy day in HK... and I just see airplanes... and nice restaurants....
So here is a little look into the window of my personality - part of me wants to go into the Mattel office in El Segundo and look for her! But - as Daniel points out - that would be "psycho."
ok, true.
My first boyfriend, Nader, once told me, "You always want to know people's stories, huh? That's your thing."
